is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
