ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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