part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
