I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
