You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
her vagine was all disorganized.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
