I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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