Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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