Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Randomize
