that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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