i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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