Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize