I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
