you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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