one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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