you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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