The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
