We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
