PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize