I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize
