yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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