P.S. I can't hear my feet
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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