I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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