found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
