My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
