She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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