I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
