every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
