can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Can I color on your dick again?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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