how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
