I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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