I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Michael Bay diarrhea
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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