this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
