Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
