Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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