you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
