I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
