i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
