I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
