Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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