pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she peed on how many people?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
