I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
