she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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