1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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