First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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