It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
