wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
