Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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