Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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