I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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