I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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