So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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