well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
