"it" just moved
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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