I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
