meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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