So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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