it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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