Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
