How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
